


Sunburned Country

by Lottiethroughthelookingglass



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 15, it's series 16 but they're in australia now, that's basically it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:14:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27973567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lottiethroughthelookingglass/pseuds/Lottiethroughthelookingglass
Summary: “I- I um, I made a mistake. I may or may not have released a thing…”“What sort of “thing” Jack?” Cas questioned.“A bad thing… But it’s ok!” Jack looked up at them again, “I have managed to contain it to a smallish area. It cannot escape those limits whilst I work out how to put it back again.”“How small?” Dean asked, “Are we talking like Kansas small or like one specific Walmart small?”“The Americas…”Everyone makes mistakes when starting a new job. For new God Jack, sometimes your mistakes are realising an ancient and great evil. Thankfully, he's managed to contain his spill to the continental Americas. His dads may want to help but Jack is determined that they stay retired.Keeping them out of the latest apocalypse is going to take drastic measures. Hopefully a trip to the other side of the globe will be enough to keep them out of the way.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49





	1. Out of the Oven and Into the Outback

**Author's Note:**

> My friend and I wanted to write a season 16 but we also wanted to fulfill our very specific fantasy of Sam, Dean, Cas and Eileen taking on Australia.  
> This will be a bit of a romp around the country featuring some new faces and some familiar ones.
> 
> Canon divergent from 15x19 assuming that Castiel is returned from The Empty, Dean doesn't get killed by a rusty nail, Sam is allowed to keep his character development and Eileen's existence is acknowledged.

It looked kinda goopy. Was risotto usually this goopy?

Sam cautiously placed the dish back in the oven. Maybe it just needed more cooking time? Maybe the rice was wrong? Maybe Sam should never have attempted the “No-stir risotto with radishes, asparagus and artichokes” that Kelly from _Food Muse_ had called “a real crowd pleaser.”.

Sam took a step back from the oven, leaning against the kitchen counter. The bunker was quiet these days. Eileen was somewhere in the depths – gone to put some artefacts back in storage before dinner. She was here more often than not these days, but the place still felt quiet.

He stared blankly ahead at the kitchen backsplash. It needed a clean. He could do that tomorrow. He had time for those things now. A whole lifetime of time. And apparently that even included time for cooking complicated recipes from food blogs.

He had never anticipated how weird it would feel. No Chuck, no apocalypse, no next problem they had to solve. For the first time in his life, he didn’t feel like he had a ticking time bomb over his head.

It was like he was existing in a weird liminal space. He had vague plans for the future. Plans to transform the bunker, make it into what it had been designed to be – a place of refuge and research. But there was no hurry.

He checked on the risotto again. Now it was crispy – surely that was worse than goopy? Risotto shouldn’t be this hard. Even Dean had made risotto before. How had Dean ended up being the better cook between them?

He missed Dean. It felt weird admitting it. It would hit him randomly, even more so the days when Eileen wasn’t around, this feeling of missing Dean. It was almost like they were kids moving out of home for the first time. It was time to go, and in many ways, they needed a break from each other.

It wasn’t the first time they’d lived without each other except… this time was different. This time they were choosing it. There was no bad blood, no argument, no unplanned trips to purgatory or hell. This time they were choosing their own paths. Their own separate paths and-

“Son of a bitch!”

Never mind, apparently the path Dean was choosing was to randomly drop in.

Sam left his risotto in the oven. He’d just order pizza, there wouldn’t be enough to feed all four of them anyway if Dean and Cas were back.

“Dean?” Sam called as he entered the war room.

“Did you do this? Is this your witchy stuff?”

“Sorry?”

“Why am I in the bunker?”

“I don’t know. I thought you were in Nebraska?”

“I was in Nebraska. And now I’m not. Did-”

“Sam?!” Eileen called from down the hallway, a slight note of distress in her voice.

Dean’s gun was already in his hand as he moved towards Eileen’s voice.

Sam had a spatula. It would do.

They rounded the corner to find Eileen standing beside a slightly frazzled looking ex-angel of the lord.

“Oh, hi Dean.” Eileen waved.

“Hi Eileen,” Dean replied before turning to Cas, “Cas why are we in the bunker?”

“I was hoping you or Sam had an explanation.”

“Yeah, no I’ve got jack-”

“Hello!”

If they weren’t four seasoned hunters, they might have jumped at the sudden appearance of their recently deified adopted son in the hallway. As it was, Jack just ended up with two guns, an angel blade and a spatula pointed menacingly at him.

“Jack!” Cas cried as Sam lowered his spatula.

“Dude, if you wanted to do a family reunion you could have just called.” Dean grinned.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean this to be a reunion. I just needed you all in the same place. Although it is nice to see you. Here are your bags.”

Four large duffel bags appeared before Jack. His normally beaming smile seemed oddly forced. “I hope I have packed enough clothes. There are also weapons and cheeseburgers for dinner.”

“Jack… Where are you sending us?”

Jack didn’t meet Dean’s eyes. It was strange seeing God look guilty. Like they’d caught him eating an entire box of sugary cereal at 3am again. It struck Sam like a physical blow how young he still was.

“I- I um, I made a mistake. I may or may not have released a thing…”

“What sort of “thing” Jack?” Cas questioned.

“A bad thing… But it’s ok!” Jack looked up at them again, “I have managed to contain it to a smallish area. It cannot escape those limits whilst I work out how to put it back again.”

“How small?” Dean asked, “Are we talking like Kansas small or like one specific Walmart small?”

“The Americas…”

“The whole country!?”

“No, the Americas. The continent. North and South.”

An odd feeling of peace was overcoming Sam. _Ah yes,_ his mind seemed to say, _here it is. Here is our next big evil. Time to research and plan and save the world again_. _Life is back to normal._

“Ok,” Sam said stepping forward, “how do we help? Do you know what this “thing” is?”

Jack looked confused, like he expected to be told off, not met with enthusiasm. “Oh, no. No, Chuck is gone and you’re retired. You don’t have to save the world anymore. You just need to go somewhere safe so you can live your lives like you deserve. You can have your beach holiday!”

“Jack, we want to help-”

“No. Sam, Dean, Cas, this was my mistake. It doesn’t fall on you to fix it. Here,” Jack stepped forward, four document folders appearing in his hands, “these are your passports, birth certificates, medicare cards, Mykis, Opals, SmartRiders-“

“Jack-” Cas tried to intervene as Jack shoved the folders into their hands.

“-There’s credit cards and debit cards but here is some cash as well.” Wads of brightly coloured bills appeared in his hands which he also handed over.

“Jack this is monopoly money.” Dean pulled at the wad of cash, “Why is it all plastic?”

“For durability.” Jack answered, stepping back.

He gazed at his three dads and Eileen, a fond smile on his face.

“Have a nice trip!”

* * *

The bright sunlight hit Sam’s eyes like a slap in the face.

“Jack!” Cas stepped onto the dirt road calling out to the sky, “Jack come back!”

“Son of a freaking bitch.” Dean muttered. “Where the hell even are we?”

The grass beneath Sam’s feet was dry and brittle. He looked out to the flat endless sea of red dirt interspersed with small, scrubby bushes that stretched before them.

“I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore…” Cas muttered staring at the road.

There was a tug on Sam’s sleeve. Eileen’s eyes were wide as she pointed at something in the bushes.

A creature stood, muscles rippling across its broad chest as it drew itself to its full and considerable height. It fixed them with its beady black eyes, hands hanging heavy with powerful claws…

The kangaroo, deciding they weren’t actually that interesting went back to eating.

“Are we in-”

“Australia.” Eileen breathed.

Sam’s mouth went dry. A bead of sweat rolled down his face.

Cas and Dean had spotted the kangaroo and seemed to be going through the same realisation.

Sam wiped at his forehead. Had it gotten hotter in the last five minutes? It was like standing in an oven…

“Oh _shit_ ,” he whispered, “my risotto!”


	2. Bumfuck, Queensland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been sitting on this for what feels like forever but here it finally is. It's still not quite where I wanted it but I am super pumped about the next chapter so hopefully that won't be another two months away....

_Take me back to hell_. _At least it was cooler there._

It had been three hours since Jack had dropped them in the middle of nowhere. Not just nowhere, Dean had decided, but the worst nowhere ever dreamt up.

There was red dirt and blinding blue-white sky as far as the eye could see. It was a struggle to even see that because the sun was so friggin’ bright. Had this place ever heard of clouds? It should really get onto that. Even if Dean did manage to keep his squinted eyes open, there was nothing much to see but heat haze and yellowish trees and shrubs. Surely that wasn’t healthy - plants that dry should just give up and die. After five minutes in this place, Dean sure wanted to.

So maybe it wasn’t The Hell, he concluded, but it sure as shit was hell on Earth. Freaking Australia.

They headed in a general easterly direction after Cas had made some remarks about “the East Coast” and “population density”.

After about an hour of walking, Dean was kind of hoping Sammy would have arrived at one of his bright ideas. Unfortunately, the only bright thing around here was the sun. His brother looked thoroughly out of his element, the back of his shirt already soaked in sweat under a layer of flies. Apparently being a walking lore encyclopaedia didn’t prepare you for being dumped in the middle of Australia. So now Earth Hell had broken Sam. Freaking Australia.

Four weeks. _Four weeks_. It had started to feel like it was too good to be true. Four weeks since they’d defeated Chuck, since Jack had become God with a capital G and Cas had come home. The first four weeks of his life where things had seemed ok. There was nothing hanging over his head and he actually had time to breathe. Of course it wouldn’t last.

A massive snake suddenly jerked to life from where it had been sunbathing a few feet Dean. It sped off into the underbrush. _Was that a fucking Death Adder?_ Forget monsters, he was going to die getting bitten by some dumb fucking snake in the middle of Earth Hell. God, what he wouldn’t give to be back hunting hillbilly vampires in Bumfuck, Ohio right now. At least you don’t accidentally step on vampires.

At some point they’d all ditched their seasonally appropriate autumn layers and stripped down to t-shirts. An hour in, Sam had made them stop and apply a generous layer of sunscreen which Jack had mercifully packed. Sure, they were all going to die, but at least it wouldn’t be of melanoma.

Cas stopped briefly ahead of Dean to wipe the bottom of his shirt across his sweating face. He’d shucked the trench coat after about five minutes of being here. Dean was still getting used to seeing the guy out of his one singular outfit. Usually, he’d be enjoying the sight of Cas all sweaty in just a t-shirt and jeans, but right now he just wanted to die a little. Scratch that, he wanted to die a lot.

Ahead of them Eileen ground to a halt, bent over in exhaustion. Puffing heavily, she signed something to them which Dean didn’t catch at all, but he figured it was something along the lines of “Stop” or “My whole body hurts”. Equally likely was “I too am getting weirdly nostalgic for real Hell and would like to go back there” or “What the actual fuck Jack why didn’t you drop us on a beach? I heard Australia has great beaches.”

Whatever it was Cas at least seemed to get it and signed something back to her.

Dean nodded, it appeared they’d agreed to take a break. Maybe if they waited till the sun set being here might become bearable.

Sam pulled up next to Dean, sweat absolutely dripping off his large frame.

“Did you get that?” Dean asked between shallow breaths.

Sam shook his head, “Nope.” he panted.

“Great.”

Cas and Eileen were retreating off the road, heading towards the shade of a mostly dead looking eucalypt. Dean hesitated. He needed to get out of the sun, but the dying tree looked like it could be a haven for snakes. Then again the entire continent was a haven for snakes, so how much more dangerous could that particular spot be?

“Why the hell would Jack dump us here man?” Dean asked Sam as he collapsed onto the ground.

“I’m sure he has a plan.” Sam’s muttered. Speaking in whole sentences indicated his breath might be returning to him.

“You know I love him and I’m glad it’s him up there instead of Chuck, but the dude is also three. He took his favourite teddy bear to heaven with him.”

“I thought you took that?” Sam responded.

“No. Why would I- I’m just saying that I don’t fully trust he’s not going to accidentally kill us-”

Sam held up his hand to silence Dean.

“But dude-”

“Do you hear that?”

Dean strained his ears. He heard flies, and some weird bird noises.

“No.”

“It’s an engine.”

Sam shushed him again as he began to reply, turning around to look back down the direction they’d come from.

Dean squinted. In the distance a speck of billowing dust was just visible.

“Oh, thank God.” Dean breathed.

“Thank Jack.” Sam corrected.

The cloud of dust slowly grew as it approached them until it became a bright orange Kombi van.

The Kombi van ground to a halt in front of them, obviously surprised to see another living thing in the barren hellscape.

The passenger door flung open to reveal a young hippie-looking woman with a scarf tied around her dreadlocked hair.

“You blokes okay?” she asked with a lilting accent.

Sam’s face broke into a relieved smile, “Yeah, we’re just looking for a ride to the nearest town.”

The woman exchanged a look with the driver of the van – a young hippie-looking man with matching dreads and a rainbow tie-dye shirt. He turned to them with a suspicious look, “How’d you all wind up out in the sticks?”

“We were never in any sticks.” Cas frowned from the back where he and Eileen had joined them.

“Our car broke down.” Eileen supplied quickly, “And there was no reception, then our phones went flat so… could we get a ride?”

The hippies exchanged a quick glance.

“Sure thing!” the woman beamed, jumping out to slide open the back door to the van. The man looked less pleased but said nothing.

-

The hippies introduced themselves as Kit and Mia. Two English backpackers who, for some inexplicable reason, had voluntarily chosen to come to Earth Hell. _Then again,_ Dean thought as he was jostled on the bench seat between Cas and Eileen, _things could be worse. Jack could’ve sent us to England._ This was the land of spiders, sharks, snakes and unbearable heat, but at least they weren’t going to run into the pompous dicks known as the British Men of Letters.

Mia supplied Sam with a map, pointing out that they were in the middle of Queensland - one of the more populated states according to Cas. That didn’t say much for the rest of the country.

The map was also used to point out all the exciting Australian tourist spots Kit and Mia had travelled to. They’d just come from a large rock called Uluru, which actually was smack bang in the middle of nowhere. Dean found out that Jack had ditched them somewhere just off to nowhere’s east. Some other exciting rocks they’d seen had been called Karlu Karlu, but by far their favourite was apparently one over in Western Australia shaped like a wave. Dean was beginning to think a lot of the tourist attractions in this country were just large rocks…

The backpackers announced they were now on their way to a campsite outside of Stonehenge and could drop them off in town if they’d like. Dean was not very good with international geography, but he was pretty sure Stonehenge was in England and not the Australian desert. Then again, he did live in a Lebanon in Kansas, so apparently people just weren’t original with names here either.

As it turned out, the Stonehenge they were headed to was nothing like the one in England. Generously called a town, it was more a few buildings clustered around two streets in the middle of nowhere. Population: 30, the hotel was also the pub and the main tourist attraction was “The Address Book” – a dry paddock a few miles out of town where visitors could arrange rocks to spell their names in the dirt so they could feel like they’d left some sort of mark on the uncaring landscape. These strange English backpackers’ rock obsession was clearly getting out of control.

Kit and Mia dropped them outside the rustic looking hotel with a wave before disappearing back into a cloud of red dirt.

“Well, they seemed nice.” Eileen said as they watch the Kombi van disappear.

-

Nice was the word for people around here it seemed. Nosy was another. The hotel owners – Josie and Johnny – seemed more interested in getting their whole life stories rather than letting them book a room.

Dean stood to the back of the room with Cas letting Sam and Eileen fill Josie and Johnny in on their “holiday trip across the country” and “car troubles”.

_Car troubles…_

_Baby!_

He gripped Cas’s arm, “Do you think Jack moved Baby?!” he frantically whispered.

Cas turned to Dean.

“I’m sure he would have…” Cas lied. “Where did you leave her?”

“In the motel parking lot. They’re gonna tow her…” Dean ran a hand over his face, “She’s gonna get impounded!”

Cas looked at Dean. There was real concern in his eyes but also a look that plainly said _Dean we currently have more pressing issues with which to concern ourselves than your car, can you please keep it together?_

Dean’s imminent break down was interrupted by the squeaking of an opening screen door.

“G’day Josie, G’day Johnny!”

A thickset woman breezed into the room accompanied by the smell of sweat, dust and sheep – or maybe that was just them – and a wide grin under her trucker cap.

“G’day Jen!” Johnny called from behind the desk, “The parts are just out the back. I’ll go grab ‘em.”

Johnny disappeared through a door behind the desk.

“Well hello,” Jen turned to the four of them “Where’d you fellas blow in from?”

“Kansas.” Sam answered.

“Hurricane straight to Oz then?”

“Uh no just-”

“Oh, actually Jen-” Josie interrupted, “Sam, you said your car was a write-off?”

“Yeah, it’s-.”

“You said you had a car you’re tryna get rid of didn’t ya Jen?”

“Yeah, yeah I do…” Jen agreed, “Kid fucked off to Sydney and left me to try and sell his shitbox of a car like I don’t have enough crap sitting round my place. Still runs fine though. It’ll get you out to Longreach at least and you’re bloody well not gonna find anything else closer. Only looking for a couple of K for it anyway.”

“Oh ok, that’d- that’d be great.” Sam said, taking a second to translate her broad accent.

Eileen just stared. Evidently she had not been able to understand Jen at all.

“She’s selling us a car.” Sam explained.

“Oh good. We should take that.” Eileen agreed.

“What model?” Dean interrupted, mind still on his poor baby abandoned and alone in a shitty motel carpark, but he had to be practical.

“Holden Commodore, mid-90s or something.” Jen replied.

Dean nodded sagely, “Ok… good, we’ll take a look at it.”

Jen nodded, apparently satisfied, as Johnny came back out with a large package.

“Parts are all in here.” He said as he passed them over the counter to Jen. “Still want me to come out and give a hand tomorrow?”

“Nah yeah that’d be great.” Jen hefted the box into her arms, “You think you could give these guys a lift out? They’re gonna come look at the Commodore.”

“Yeah course.”

“That would be great.” Sam agreed.

“Well I’ll see youse tomorrow. See ya round Josie!”

“See ya Jen!”

Jen left with her box leaving Sam and Eileen to continue trying to get them a room.

“Is that a good car?” Cas whispered, leaning over to Dean.

Dean hesitated, “I have no idea.” He confessed.

-

What felt like hours later they finally escaped Josie and Johnny’s interrogations and made it to their rooms. Dinner and breakfast provided by the in-house dining facilities, which incidentally were also the only place in town to get dinner and breakfast, had been arranged courtesy of the managers. They’d also arranged to meet Johnny early tomorrow morning for a lift to Jen’s station.

The rooms themselves were small but sweet. Homey floral bedspreads and wallpaper and, mercifully -air conditioned. Red dirt seemed almost baked into the white tiles of the bathrooms, but Dean was grateful for a place to finally change out of his sweat soaked clothes and wash off the layer of grime that had been covering him since he got there. Good luck to Kit and Mia getting the stench of four sweaty, filthy hunters out of their fancy Kombi. It had taken him 30 minutes in the shower to free his own nose of the smell.

Showered and in clean clothes, Earth Hell felt a little bit less hellish.

He returned from the shower to the welcome sight of Cas and four plates of hamburgers.

“I asked Johnny if we could take dinner to our rooms after our taxing day.” Cas handed Dean the nearest plate. “I assumed we might want to formulate some sort of plan for the coming days without being overheard.”

“You’re seriously the best, man.” He said, taking the plate from Cas.

Cas smiled, “Sam and Eileen will be here in a moment.”

Dean hungrily took a chunk out of his burger. Damn that was… He stopped, pulled back from the burger.

_What the fuck is that?_

He chewed slowly, “Um, what are these Cas?”

“Johnny said it was “A burger with The Lot.”’

“Is that…pineapple?” he examined the burger more closely. It was leaking purple. “Cas, why is it purple?”

“That would be the beetroot.” Cas said around a mouthful of his own burger.

“Why the fuck is there beetroot on my burger?”

Cas shrugged, “I think I like it. Johnny said it was an “Aussie Classic”’

Dean placed the burger back on the plate and stared out the window. The sun was still over-bright as it reflected off the barren red earth, even this late in the day. Great, so now Earth Hell had even managed to ruin burgers. Freaking Australia. Dean just wanted to go home.

-

“Ok, so nearest international airport is Brisbane,” Sam sat at the small table in Cas and Dean’s room, laptop open on a flight search site, “Which is fourteen hours away.”

“Wait, there’s no international airport in the state?” Dean asked as he stacked their empty plates onto the corner of the table to make more room. Despite the beetroot and pineapple insanity, all four burgers had been quickly demolished.

“No, Brisbane’s still in Queensland. It’s on the coast.”

“Jesus. Alright, so we buy that car, drive to Brisbane and get the hell outta Dodge.”

Sam frowned, “You do know it’s like a thirty-hour flight back home?”

Confirmation that Jack had dumped them to the literal ends of the Earth “That’s fine.” Dean lied.

“There may be an issue with getting back into the US.” Cas interrupted from the bed where he was perched next to Eileen, their fake passports spread out in front of her.

Sam and Dean turned to face them.

“Why?”

“Because we’ve all got Australian passports. We’d need visas to get back in and I’m the only person who’s a real citizen… or at least not wanted by the FBI.” Eileen explained, holding the passports out to the brothers.

Sam took the passports from her hand, frowning at the golden kangaroo and emu crest under a neatly emblazoned ‘Australia’ at the top.

“But we’re clearly American… And Irish.” Dean argued.

“Yes, but we can’t prove that. And…” Eileen glanced a look at Cas, “Jack’s given us enough so no one will question us being here. But if he really doesn’t want us to leave then I don’t think our identities are secure enough to get us back into America.”

“It’s still worth trying. Jack’s not gonna let us get stuck in jail for trying to get back home.”

“He might if he thinks it’s safer than whatever it is he’s trapped in America.” Sam voiced.

“So we just sit here and wrestle crocodiles and look at rocks or whatever it is Australians do and just hope Jack sorts it out?”

“No Dean,” Cas said, “we’re not just going to sit around, but Sam and Eileen are right. Jack doesn’t want us there right now. Besides, there’s no use running back until we at least know what we’re fighting.”

“Ok great, I’ll get onto researching. Oh wait, all our stuff is in the Bunker, in America, where we can’t go.”

Dean yanked the passports out of Sam’s hands. Flipping over the documents for a ‘Castiel Murphy’ and an ‘Eileen Murphy’.

“What the- Did Jack make you guys married?!” Dean looked up at Cas and Eileen.

“Siblings according to our birth certificates.” Cas replied, “I think he wanted to give us a reason to be all together.”

Dean gave him a dead pan glare.

“Ok, I think maybe we should take a break,” Sam suggested hesitantly, shutting the lid of his laptop. “It’s been a long day… At least tomorrow we can get the car and maybe start heading to Brisbane and see if we can figure out a way to fly home.”

Dean grumbled but realised it wasn’t worth arguing further that night. _I’ll be swimming my way back at this point_ he thought.

Sam and Eileen left for their room with a good night, leaving Dean staring out the window towards the setting sun and Cas staring across the room at Dean.

“The Impala’s going to be fine Dean.” Cas said, interrupting his thoughts.

Dean huffed a laugh, “Yeah I know.”

“We can get Donna or Jody or Claire or someone to drive her back to the bunker till we get back.” Cas continued.

Dean looked up at him, “I’m sorry but there is no way I’m letting Claire drive that car.”

Cas smiled. He seemed to be doing that more often. Dean had never even noticed how little Cas used to smile until now.

Cas came over and sat in the chair where Sam had been and placed his hands on the table. He met Dean’s gaze, seeming genuinely concerned.

 _Four weeks._ Things hadn’t been perfect, but they had seemed damn close. Sure Dean was mad to be stuck in freaking Earth Hell with nosy ass motel owners and no car and a sun that seemed personally out to kill him but… He took one of Cas’s hands in his own. His stomach still flipped a little every time he did that. Here was an ex-angel sitting across the table from him worried about his dumb car and enjoying stupid beetroot-ridden-burgers and holding his hand like they were awkward teenagers.

Here was _Cas_. Cas who, just over a month ago, he’d thought was gone forever. Dean still couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the fact that Cas was here and he wasn’t going anywhere. They were on the other side of the planet and Cas was still choosing to stick with him.

 _Not that he has any other choice right now,_ a small traitorous voice in the back of his brain tried to remind him. He quashed it down. Everything was alright. He was worried about Jack and whatever it was he’d unleashed and he sure as hell didn’t want to be here but… compared to the nightmare they’d been living not so long ago, he’d take this in a heartbeat. Sam was here, Eileen hadn’t been Thanos-snapped out of existence and, if he wanted to, he could just lean across this small, stained motel room table in Bumfuck, Queensland and kiss that worried frown right off Cas’s face.

And it was a good thing that at least kissing Cas, even here in Earth Hell, somehow still felt like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I went on holiday to Brisbane last week and my friends flat out refused to take the 14hr drive to Stonehenge so I could research this fic in person. Anyway I'm feeling a bit betrayed by that and obvs need better friends.


	3. Sam Winchester Is Not A Tourist

When Sam was five, he’d wanted more than anything to go on a real holiday. He’d begged for weeks before John had finally agreed, pulling into a roadside attraction park and pronouncing this their “Family Vacation”. Years later Sam would forget the name of the park, or even the state they’d found it in, but he would remember the giant dinosaurs, the mini-train ride and a sense of fun that was already beginning to feel rare in his life.

John had spent the morning at a bench huddled over his journal, but by the afternoon even he joined in for a mini-train ride. Before they left, Dean stole him a crappy dinosaur magnet from the souvenir shop which Sam treasured for a while but later lost, left behind in some motel room or another. But that night, curled up on a lumpy mattress that smelt of cigarettes and spilt beer, Sam made a vow that when he was an adult, he was going to go on holidays all the time.

-

Dead grass. Stunted trees. If you squinted there was a kinda pathetic mountain range on the horizon - the John Egan Pioneer Track Lookout sure was scintillating stuff.

Josie, their driver and guide, was perched on a small boulder by the lookout. A cigarette dangling between her fingers as she gave Cas a rundown on the local birdlife. She’d stopped the car what already felt like hours ago declaring it ‘smoko’ and kicking them all out to look at the ‘view’.

Sam drummed his fingers on the railing of the lookout fence. _Creatures that could scare God?_ The list was short. Amara possibly? Chuck again? Had Jack somehow released The Empty? But why would he call any of them “a thing”? Unless he was purposely being obtuse? Man, it was hot.

Sam raised his eyes to the sky and prayed, _Jack, please, just tell us what’s going on._

Nothing.

Josie lit up another cigarette, offering it to Cas. He politely declined.

Dean was still gone. He’d wandered off down the track about ten minutes ago. Probably needed to cool off.

He’d been in a surprisingly good mood this morning when they’d arrived at the motel reception. 7.30am on the dot so Johnny could take them out to Jen’s to buy the car. Then Johnny had to get breakfast. Also he just wanted to quickly fix up a pipe. And do the weekly grocery order while he had a chance. And the fly screen in Room Two really needed replacing.

Two hours later, Dean’s good mood had disappeared, Johnny was fixing a lawn mower, Cas was halfway through a book on the geology of Western Queensland, Eileen was asleep, and Sam was stressing.

Dean was giving Sam a look from across the room. The look implied all sorts of ideas about grand theft auto and possible murder. It was rather persuasive.

“Well, if you’ve got some spare time, might as well show you round the sights!” Josie piped up from behind the counter.

“If _you’ve_ got the time, you could always just take us to Jen’s so we could purchase the car?” Sam offered.

“Nah.” Josie countered.

And with that stellar reasoning, the four of them were piled into Josie’s truck and taken on a guided tour of Stonehenge and its surrounds.

At Stonehenge’s crowning jewel of tourist attractions – The Address book – they ran into their Kombi-driving, English backpacker saviours. Kit and Mia greeted them by jumping a foot in the air when Eileen said hi, despite being the literal only other people in an empty field of rocks.

Mia managed to recover her composure even as Kit skulked behind her like a frightened cat.

“Oh, you guys are still here?” she said with complete chill.

“Yeah, we’re going to pick up a new car this afternoon but Josie’s just showing us the sights first.” Eileen smiled.

“Oh, that’s so nice.” Mia smiled back very sincerely.

“So, you’re leaving tomorrow?” Kit… _growled?_

“Hopefully today.” Eileen supplied.

“Good.” Kit snapped.

Mia laughed awkwardly, “Ignore Kit. He’s just on a juice cleanse. He gets all weird when he’s hungry.” She laughed some more as if that made the situation less weird.

“Okay?” Eileen nodded.

“Anyway, we’re going to head off now…” Mia grabbed Kit by the arm and they legged back to their van.

“That was weird.” Eileen said.

“Backpackers and their drugs.” Josie shook her head, explanation finished.

They didn’t add anything to the book in the end, but Eileen took plenty of photos of the names, addresses and messages in the dirt. Wouldn’t want to forget their visit to Stonehenge, Australia!

And now they were on the final leg of their tour, a 4WD adventure up the John Egan Pioneer Track complete with _this_ _beautiful vista._

A fly tried to crawl inside Sam’s nose. He swatted it away.

Why were they still here?

There wasn’t even any signal so he there was no chance for doing any research. Not that he really knew what to start searching.

He stared out at the view. It stared back. Unchanging, endless and-

He wanted to go home. Back to the bunker, back to archiving cursed objects and reading lore and working on the actual damn problem at hand. And for a while there he’d thought he wanted to get out of The Life? Ha!

Or maybe The Life had just Stockholm syndromed him and now he didn’t know how to take a break.

He clenched his fists on the guard rail. _Right,_ he thought, _time to get out of-_

“I could spend all day up here.” Eileen mused from beside him.

She lowered her phone. She’d taken photos of the ‘view’ from all the best vantage points, “It’s just incredible, isn’t it?”

“Uh, yeah.” Sam lied. Sure, maybe it would be nice. If they actually had _time_ to waste on this…

“You know, maybe it was a good thing we couldn’t get out to the car this morning.” Eileen folded her arms on the railing and gazed out across the landscape, a smile on her face. “I mean, it was really nice getting to see the town from a local’s perspective. Because really, every place just has these magical spots, and we travel so much and see so many places but we’re so focused on getting in and getting out that we forget to actually _see_ them.” She paused, the faint breeze stirred her hair, “I want to _see_ more places.” she concluded.

“Absolutely.” Sam nodded, not making eye contact.

Fantastic. Eileen was actually enjoying this. She wanted to _see_ places. He just wanted to _see_ the Bunker, his room and his bed. Was this going to be an issue between them? Oh God, this was going be an issue between them… Sam looked over to Cas who seemed enraptured by Josie’s bird talk. Cas didn’t mind being here and Dean was ready to kill to go home. They weren’t on the same page but that didn’t mean they had a problem. It was fine. Sam was just overthinking this. He was just stressed.

Dean reappeared from wherever it was he’d gone, a bleached animal skull swinging by his side.

“Is that a sheep skull?” Eileen asked.

“I think it’s a kangaroo.” Dean swung the skull up beside his face like he was auditioning for Hamlet, “S’got funky teeth. Souvenir?”

“You’re definitely not getting that through customs.” Eileen joked.

“Yeah true,” Dean carefully balanced the skull on the lookout railing. He looked kind of content. Oh God. Maybe Dean _was_ enjoying this. After all, he and Cas had basically been doing this kind of thing for the last month across America…

Behind them Josie stood up, cracking her back, “Alrighty,” she said taking a glance at her watch, “let’s get you back so John can take you to ya car.”

 _Thank God_.

-

“Sammy that’s not a car.”

“Dean…”

“It’s mobile scrap metal.”

“Dean.”

“I wouldn’t even steal this if we were on the run from a pack of werewolves and this was the only thing with an engine in a hundred miles.”

Sam ran a hand over his face. “It’s a car Dean. We buy it. We get out of here. We go home.”

Dean was standing on the back porch of Jen’s homestead staring at their new car like its very existence was a personal offence to all that was Holy within the motor industry.

It wasn’t pretty, Sam would give Dean that. The 1993 Holden Commodore, which Johnny had described as a “classic Aussie car” on the drive over, was a squat blue-grey sedan with silver stripes down the sides and a massive dent on the back right side. But according to Jen it still went, had at least a month’s registration on it and was basically their only car purchasing option between here and Longreach.

“At least Donna’s got the Impala safely home,” Sam attempted to console his brother, “so it’s not permanent.”

Dean continued to glare at the car.

“I can drive if you’re that offended?”

“No, I’m fine.” Dean snapped, stomping over to the left-hand door and slamming it behind him as he climbed in.

Sam climbed in the other side.

Dean sat, keys in hand glaring at the empty dashboard.

“Driving wheel’s on the _wrong fucking side._ ” Dean clenched the keys in his fist.

“I think you’ll find it’s on the _right_ side.” Sam attempted to joke as he tugged the keys from Dean’s grip and put them in the ignition in front of him.

“Fucking bullshit.” Dean muttered.

Eileen tapped on the glass of Sam’s window.

He wound it down.

“Jen wants to know if we want a cuppa before we go?” Eileen asked.

Sam looked to Dean who had entered sulk mode.

“We should probably go.” Sam signed. “Before Dean steals someone else’s car.” He added.

Eileen shrugged and went to fetch Cas.

A moment later Cas and Eileen had piled into the back, waving goodbye to Jen and Johnny.

“Jen wants us to know we’re welcome anytime.” Cas informed them.

Dean muttered something darkly from the passenger seat that nobody heard.

Sam turned the key and the car started. More muttering from Dean. Sam put the car into drive and pulled out onto the road leaving Johnny, Jen, Josie and Stonehenge in the rear-view mirror.

Hopefully, they wouldn’t need to take Jen up on her offer. Ever.

-

The road was flat, long, red and monotonous. They’d been driving for over two hours past endless scrubby trees poking through dead grass and red dirt on a flat plain. It wasn’t as bad as walking had been yesterday (the car at least had air conditioning) but there was something kind of ugly about the stunted, dried-out trees. The only sign of life as they drove past was the occasional cow or dead kangaroo by side of the road. All in all, Sam concluded, it was one of ugliest places he’d ever driven through.

“It’s sort of beautiful.” Eileen remarked.

Dean turned in the passenger seat to face her, “You mean in an endless monotony way?”

“I don’t know,” Eileen shrugged, “It’s just different to anywhere else I’ve been.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s just a little different.” Dean huffed.

“Not a fan?” Eileen asked in amusement.

“I think I’d be a bigger fan if we hadn’t just been dumped here against our will.”

“So we go home, help Jack fix his problem then come back for a proper holiday?” Eileen suggested.

Dean laughed, “Sure, we’ll put it on the bucket list right after Hell and Florida. What do you think Cas?”

Cas looked up from the window, “I haven’t been to Australia for several thousands of years so it is nice to see it again.” He paused, “Apart from when I was banished to Perth, but I just saw the dog races then, so I don’t think that was representative of the whole country.”

“Right.”

“We should do it.” Eileen agreed. “Sam?”

“Umm, yeah,” Sam started, “I think we should focus on getting home first though.”

“He says he wants to go home.” Dean helpfully conveyed to Eileen.

“That’s not what I-” Sam glanced in rear view mirror. Eileen wasn’t looking at him. She was looking out the window, a little miffed.

The jovial mood of the car evaporated as quickly as it had come. Great. Well done Sam.

-

Sam yawned. The jet lag was catching up to him and the endless monotony of the road wasn’t helping.

They’d decided they would stop for a break at a town called Blackall. The town could boast a whole thousand residents, so promised to be at least a little less small town intense than Stonehenge.

“Literally growing on the sheep’s back, Blackall became a thriving outback township in the early years. Today, you can discover the region’s wool heritage at the Historic Blackall Woolscour, the last remaining scour in Australia, a virtual living museum, where friendly volunteers can take you on an intimate guided tour through the complex.” Eileen read out from whatever website she had open.

“Well, sounds like we’ll be missing that if we want to get to Brisbane tomorrow.” Sam replied a little too quickly.

In the backseat, Cas translated Sam for Eileen.

Eileen pursed her lips, “I wasn’t saying we’d go. I was just reading the site.”

“I know, but we’ll have to leave early tomorrow morning if we want to make it to-”

“Fine.” Eileen interrupted Cas’s translation as she turned her phone off and put it back in her pocket.

Dean looked over at Sam.

“What?” Sam asked, kind of guilty.

“Nothing, you’re just grumpier than me.”

“It’s just been a long day and… I’m worried about Jack. We still have no idea what he’s facing, and we spent this morning looking at dead trees and rocks. We haven’t even looked into what it could be.”

Sam glanced in the rear-view mirror. Eileen was looking at him, he knew she hadn’t understood him and Cas hadn’t translated. She turned back to the window.

“I’m worried about Jack too man, and I sure as hell don’t want to be here, but we’ve got a plan - get a plane outta Brisbane and get back to it.”

“Unless Eileen’s right and we just get arrested… Look just leave it for now. I’m just tired.”

“Ok.”

They settled back into silence.

Dean’s phone buzzed, he pulled it out and tapped a reply.

A moment later the phone buzzed again, a small smile tugged at his face as he texted something back.

“Who are you texting?”

“Oh, uh just Donna. Checking in on Baby.”

Dean continued his texting.

Sam glanced in the mirror again. Eileen was leaning against the window looking a bit moody. Cas was typing something on his phone.

Sam looked back at Dean.

“Are you texting Cas?”

Dean jerked back, “No.” he said defensively.

Sam leant over. It was Cas.

“You guys are literally in the same car.”

“Eyes on the road Sammy!”

Sam ran a hand over his face. God this trip was going to be fun.

-

The sun was still high in the sky by the time they pulled into Blackall, but the jetlag and drive had made lunch feel a very long time ago.

They checked into the first hotel they saw on the main street. It was a relief being able to tap a credit card for two rooms and not have a niggling worry about whether or not it would be declined. Sam wondered if, after they got back home, Jack might let them keep the bank accounts he’d set up for them here. He’d found their account details and passwords written in a book in his bag the night before. Signing into the accounts, he could see that Jack had left them with enough to retire on - cruise trip, small private island and grandkids’ college tuition fees included.

They ate dinner at the attached hotel pub. Thankfully, the food was relatively normal and the hotel owners seemed to have no interest in finding out every detail of their lives.

Dean had gone to the bathroom when Eileen leaned over to poke Sam in the shoulder. She pointed to a boy behind Sam with a mullet and signed something to him, her eyebrows raised in a smirk.

He was so tired. His brain felt like it was buffering. Something about “hair”, “town” and “sheep”?

Cas let out a soft snort beside Eileen. Great, he’d gotten the joke. Sam stared. Should he just laugh and pretend he understood? Was that ruder? He knew more ASL than this, didn’t he?

He’d left it too long. Eileen’s expression was faltering.

“Sorry? I don’t understand.” He signed.

Eileen tried again, slower.

His head felt fuzzy.

“Don’t worry.” She said, somewhat shortly.

Dean arrived back from the bathroom before Sam could ask what she’d meant.

“Dudes, a guy just told me that they sell kangaroo scrotums as souvenirs in gift shops here. That’s just a common thing.” He announced to the table.

Sam, Cas and Eileen stared at him.

“I do not want to know how that came up.” Cas said picking at a fry on his plate.

-

Was it fair to feel jetlagged if you hadn’t even been on a plane?

Sam was struggling to keep his eyes open as he stood in the aisle of the local supermarket, a chain store called IGA. The workers were clearly waiting for them to leave so they could close for the night. He’d hardly slept at all last night, thoughts of Jack and apocalypses and fake visas keeping him awake. Now, the sun hadn’t even really set and his whole head was fuzzy with exhaustion.

 _Well, this is what a month of keeping a regular sleep schedule does to a person,_ he thought.

After Sam’s insistence that they leave first thing in the morning, they’d decided to at least get some food for the road. One look at the unfamiliar brands and Sam had loaded the basket with a few bottles of water, apples and bananas and was ready to call it a day.

Dean meanwhile, had taken to the shop like a kid in a candy store. That, or a forty-year-old man in the confectionary aisle.

He was picking up colourful sweet packets by the handful and throwing them onto the ever-growing pile in Cas’s basket.

“They have so many gummies here man.” He said, as he picked up a bright red and purple packet, “ _Red Skins_ … Is that not like… a slur here?”

Eileen was in the chocolates section reading the labels intently. She’d been so happy that morning at the lookout. She deserved that. She deserved to be happy. She didn’t deserve to be in this stupid supermarket on the other side of the world staring at brands she didn’t recognise.

Or maybe she did? Maybe this is exactly where she deserved to be. Exploring the world. _Seeing_ the world.

“It’s just a packet of frogs! Why frogs? Doesn’t even say what they taste like.” Dean was holding up a packet of bright red coloured gummy frogs.

“I think they’re raspberry?” Cas replied as he squinted at the ingredients list.

Sam was staring. Staring at Cas and Dean standing side by side inspecting the Australian candies. They seemed so normal. Like a happy, functioning couple.

“Maybe we should just get the mixed bag?” Cas suggested picking up a bag labelled ‘Party Mix’.

“Does it have the frogs?”

“Do we need the frogs?”

“I want the frogs Cas.”

Cas rolled his eyes and threw the frogs into the basket alongside the Party Mix.

He had a fond smile on his face as Dean moved to the next candy packet. And- Oh God was that a hickey on his neck? A hickey on Castiel, ex-angel of the lord’s neck and his brother had put it there. That at least explained Dean’s good mood that morning. But-

It was fine. It wasn’t weird. Sam was cool with it. Of course he was. In theory he knew the two of them were together. And they’d booked separate rooms at the motel. It hadn’t been something they had to talk about, it was just what was happening. He wasn’t uncomfortable about it.

But those two had also been gone pretty much the entire time since Cas had gotten back.

The three of them had gone on one hunt and then Dean had come in and announced he and Cas were going to take some time and go on a trip. They’d popped in a few times since then but, for the most part, Sam hadn’t seen either of them. He definitely hadn’t done much considering of them as a _couple_.

“What the fuck are _musk_ sticks meant to taste like?”

“Probably musk, like the deer secretions.” Cas replied.

“The what?!”

He hadn’t even spoken to Dean about it. Not a single conversation. Was he allowed to mention it? Acknowledge it? Or were they just going to go the rest of their lives with this as a quiet unspoken knowledge between them?

Eileen had returned from the chocolate section.

“They have caramel chocolate koala bears! I got one for each of us and a packet of ‘Favourites’.”

“That’s a lot of chocolate.” Sam said without thinking.

An unreadable expression passed over Eileen’s face. She dropped the chocolates in the basket and walked to the other end of the aisle.

What the hell was he doing? He’d been so shitty to her all day. Wasn’t he glad that, despite being stuck in Australia, she was here with him? He stared at the floor tiles of the shop. Surely this was better than third wheeling Cas and Dean? Did he not want her here?

 _She_ probably didn’t want to be here.

He looked back to where Eileen was investigating the cracker selection. It probably wasn’t that she didn’t want to be here. She probably just didn’t want to be here with _him._

“There’s, like, four different brands of snake shaped candies. Surprised they don’t have spider candies too.” Dean was putting all four bags into the basket.

“Dean you cannot eat that much candy. You’ll get diabetes.” Cas frowned.

“Dude, if I live long enough to die of diabetes, I’m calling that a win.”

How had this happened? How did his emotionally constipated brother end up with a healthier romantic relationship with his male ex-angel best friend than Sam could keep with Eileen?

Was Dean the well-adjusted one here? Then again, who between them really had the best romantic history? Dean had managed a proper, adult relationship with Lisa for over a year while Sam was in Hell. They’d been happy together. And Sam? Sam had dated Jess, but that was college. His feelings were serious but was the relationship? And Ruby? An actual demon who’d just been using him to release Lucifer and start the apocalypse. Amelia had been wonderful but really, she’d just been using him as a way to forget about her own grief. Besides, Amelia and Jess had never even known about his life. Had they even been close to him if they didn’t know that?

He was a mess. Eileen just hadn’t worked it out yet.

So, of course Dean and his former heavenly warrior boyfriend had the healthy relationship here. They knew each other. They were best friends. They had things in common and inside jokes. They’d been to Hell and back. They had ‘a more profound bond’.

What reason did Eileen have to be with Sam? Knowing him had already gotten her killed once before. It’d gotten her tortured by Chuck and snapped from existence. And now it had trapped her on the other side of the world.

She was smart, funny and gorgeous. She had a way with people and made friends easily. Sam’s only friends were either dead or they were really Dean’s and only his by extension. She was an incredible hunter, but she could do a normal life too if she wanted. She could have it all.

And he couldn’t even understand her quips at dinner.

Yes, Eileen could do better than Sam Winchester. She’d realise that soon. She’d meet some beautiful, tall, muscled Australian man who spoke fluent ASL and didn’t get dragged into galaxy-level shitshows once a year. They’d be happy and hunt monsters and live in a beautiful, renovated cabin and-

“Sam. Sam? Sam!”

Sam’s eyes snapped up. Eileen was standing in front of him, a cracker packet in either hand. ‘SHAPES’ the packets declared themselves.

“Pizza or Cheese and Bacon?” she asked.

“Pizza.” Cas decided from behind her as Dean declared “The bacon one.”

“Sam? Deciding vote.” Eileen raised her eyebrow. God she could do so much better.

“They’re trying to close. We’ve got enough stuff.” It came out snappier than he’d meant it.

Eileen looked hurt. Dean’s was giving him a _What the hell man!?_ face and Cas was looking offended on Eileen’s behalf.

Sam tried to remedy the situation by rather roughly throwing the Pizza shapes in the basket. Eileen did not look placated. He turned and walked off to the registers before he could do any more damage.

 _It’s fine,_ he told himself, _just get to Brisbane. Get on the plane. Go home. Fix this._

 _And let Eileen get away while she can,_ his brain added as a pimply Australian teenager packed their groceries.

-

The world always seemed to make a bit more sense after a good shower. Pity the Blackall Hotel’s showers had no pressure and there were signs everywhere reminding him of drought, water restrictions and how to take shorter showers.

Eileen was sitting on the bed as he came out, reading a pamphlet on the Blackall Woolscour and other historic sites in the area.

Seeing Sam, she quickly put the pamphlet down.

“How was the shower?” she asked.

“Not good.”

“Better than nothing.” She shrugged. “You want me to drive for a bit tomorrow? It’s still another 11 hours and you seemed a bit tired today.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’ll do a couple of hours in the morning.”

“Ok.”

Sam sat on the edge of the bed. He rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands, his back to Eileen. Could he be any ruder? No, it was fine. He must be overthinking again. He just needed some sleep.

Eileen gently tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, is everything ok?”

Sam hesitated a moment before turning around.

“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t be here.”

Whatever she’d expected, it wasn’t that.

“What do you mean I ‘shouldn’t be here’?”

“You shouldn’t have been dragged into this mess. It didn’t have anything to do with you and all I’ve done is just get you caught up in the shit that is my life.”

Eileen gave him an incredulous look, “Last I checked, cosmic forces that have _the_ actual God scared are probably all our problems.”

“I got you killed!”

“Yes, and then I got better. I came back because _you_ brought me back. Sam…”

Sam stood up and walked across the room to the window.

“Sam?” she paused, “Do _you_ not want me here?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Do you?!”

“I don’t want you to get hurt! I’m just sick of seeing people around me getting dragged into our crap and getting hurt because of it. And since this is just the new piece of shit twist in my life then yeah, maybe I wish you weren’t here! Maybe I wish you were back home living your life.”

Eileen opened her mouth, closed it and took a deep breath. “Well, if I hadn’t been brought along, would I ever have seen any of the things we saw this morning?” she tried for a lighter tone.

“Well…”

“What?”

“Maybe you should just stay then. You don’t have to come back and fight whatever Jack’s released. You can just-”

“-Stay here and sightsee?!”

“I didn’t mean- If you want.”

“Well, you seem to be the expert on what I want.” Eileen stood up, grabbing her wallet off the bedside table and shoving it into her pocket.

“Where are you going?”

“Sightseeing.” She snapped and stormed to the door. She paused at the door handle then turned around, “The pub.” She signed, “Don’t wait up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, this was one was a bit of a monster but I hope y'all enjoyed.


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